Heartache
by DarkAngel654
Summary: Have you ever loved anyone so much that it hurts?i hv. This is my story. How and why i couldn't have him. Why i had this feeling in my heart. Heartache.


**A/N: This is a tragic fic…I warn u beforehand. **

** Heartache **

"_The thing that hurts the most is seeing the one you love, love someone else" – Unknown_

_**Flashback – 6 days ago**_

My heart was beating faster and faster by every second. He looked at me and gave me a tentative smile. I smiled back. The Order had just finished another meeting, and everyone was leaving. The battle was near. They had plans to attack the Death Eater hideout in a week. I, Hermione Granger had an important plan in that. I was supposed to distract Voldemort while Harry tried to kill him. Harry….I thought, Harry's smile grew wider as I gave him a cheeky wink.

How many lives would change in a week's time? How many would turn widows? How many would die? That thought had been on my head for a while now. My face must have been white; all emotions clear on my face, for Harry looked worried again now. I focused my attention on him. He looked so adorable like that. His messy hair was coming onto his eyes. His green eyes were wide. His glasses were slightly askew as always. I used all of my sense to resist kissing him right there and then. No, he was supposed to be my best friend, and loved my other best-girl friend.

This was not fair, I knew. But I myself had a plan to hook up Ginny and Harry. 3 days was all that it needed, I thought. I loved him, I knew he loved Ginny, and I wasn't a jealous type. I would give my life if it brings him happiness somehow. From the past 4 weeks, Harry had turned quieter and quieter. His smiles grew lesser and lesser. It broke my heart to see him this way. After Sirius's death, his smile was almost non-existent. I understood his fear, his tension and his grief. He feared that if something went wrong, the whole Wizarding world would be affected greatly because of him He didn't fear for his life, after all he was a pure Gryffindor.

I remembered that I had been staring at him from quite a while now. He was just staring back. My stomach did a flip-flop. I gulped silently. I turned my face away from him. He didn't need to see my watery eyes. He looked slightly confused. God, he looked even sexier when confused. Down girl, I warned myself. I cleared my throat, for I was sure my voice wouldn't be firm. This was the time for the Harry-Ginny plan. He needed to be happy for at least one week. He needed to know true love, even if my heart would be broken into pieces; I knew he would be happy.

He kept staring at me weirdly as I explained all this to him. At the end, his face transformed into a large grin and he jumped up and hugged me tight. I could feel his strong muscles from years of Quidditch. I felt safe in his embrace, but I quickly pulled away. I flashed him a genuine smile. Ginny had a crush on from when she was young. It had grown into a woman's love with time. Harry and Ginny kept each other company everyday. Harry had become slightly distanced from her. But it was clear with just one look at the other two that they were madly, deeply in love with each other.

He grinned again, "Thanks Hermione! I love you!" and with that he hugged me once again and left the room. My heartbeat had stilled that second. I had been dying to hear those words spoken from his mouth to her. Of course it wasn't in that sense. But I could do with it. I spotted Harry and Ginny talking to each other happily. I felt only one thing. Even though everything else I felt was numb. I felt my heart. I felt it beat painfully. I felt _my heartache_.

_**End flashback.**_

_**One day before the 'plan' –**_

I was sitting on the log, in the Weasley garden. Love was in the air, I thought, with a bitter smirk. The love-bugs had bitten everyone. But it seemed that the same bug had bitten me and Ginny. I became aware of Harry and Ginny under the mistletoe. My hands clenched into fists. He had told her, I knew. I saw Ginny stare at Harry in shock, and then put her arms around him and give him a kiss. Harry put his arms around her waist, and kissed her back passionately. I turned away. What would I not do to be in Ginny's place? But, I was the poor best friend. I was always there. I was the one he turned to when in trouble. I was the one who had always saved his neck. I was the one who loved him first. I was back to self-pitying again. My eyes went moist. No! My mind screamed. I wouldn't let myself cry. I never cried. Oh Merlin! I threw another glance at the couple. The mistletoe was growing rapidly. I could even see that engagement ring on Ginny's hand. Everyone had started cheering. Mrs. Weasley was wiping tears from her eyes.

I looked around wildly. After making sure, no one had their attention on me; I picked up my wand and ran towards the woods. After making sure I was a safe distance from the Burrow, I slumped against a tree and sank down. I wrapped my arms around my knees and started crying in earnest. Sobs racked my throat. My body shook with that impact. Everything was over. I was ecstatic for them. But my Harry was finally engaged. When I was younger, every time the word 'engaged' or 'married' was mentioned, my mind formed a mental pictured of me and Harry kissing.

My heart was full. I felt sick to my stomach. Why, oh why did I have to have so many morals? Why do I love him so much? My thoughts went to the first time I met him on the Hogwarts Express. I had just entered the compartment, and spotted him eating Chocolate Frogs with Ron. He looked handsome. There was light shining in his eyes. I was blushing lightly when he noticed me. To keep myself making a fool of myself, I uttered the first thing that came to my mind. I had taken a seat in front of him. I had looked into his green eyes. The scotch-taped spectacles made it difficult for him to see. I had felt an instant sense of protectiveness over him.

My sobs subsided gradually. I ran a hand through my curly mane of hair. Everything was changed now. Honestly, how had anyone ever thought of me and Ron being together? He and Luna were perfect with each other. I smiled remembering how Ron had blushed when asking Luna out on a date. Harry had grinned and hugged me that time too. I had every memory of hugging him, kissing him on the cheek. During my fourth year, I had so much wanted to go on a ball with Harry. He hadn't even thought of me. I sighed. This was the last time I was allowing myself to wallow in self-pity.

I stood up shakily. I performed a charm that hid my tear-stricken face. I looked around once more and started to move back towards the house. My head was throbbing painfully. And even more painful was my heart.My _Heartache_.

_**---**_

_**The next day – **_

I felt tension in everyone. The brief moment of joy everyone had allowed themselves the previous day had vanished. We were in the Order Headquarters. The day was here. This was the turning point of everyone's life. The final battle was here. Harry was back to his silent self again. Ginny was trying to get him to talk.

Yesterday after I had returned, Harry had spotted me the first and had come and hugged me. This time, I had tightened my arms around him. I had buried myself into his warm touch. I had enveloped myself in his spicy scent. But the moment was short-lived.

Harry noticed me lurking in the shadows and came towards me. Ginny was fussing over her brothers. Harry leaned against the wall and gave me a smile. My gaze went back to his eyes. His green eyes, were scrutinizing me. This might be the last time I ever see him. God forbid anything happened to him. I would keep him safe. I would distract the Dark Lord. I wanted to feel his arms around me just once more. I wanted to feel safe once again. I wanted the reassurance that everything would be all right. I wanted _Harry._ My eyes were moist again. Harry did exactly what I wanted him to do; he pulled me into his arms. He made me feel heaven and hell in one hug. True bliss and heart wrenching pain in just one hug, I sniffed. Harry gave me that adorable smile and I looked at him fondly. He wiped the remaining tears from my eyes. Anyone would be a stupid fool not to notice how much I loved him. There was a ring in the house. I was ready. I had Harry on my side. I would kill that bald loony wizard I thought scornfully.

_**---**_

_**In the Death Eater hide-out, war is going on – **_

Hermione hissed as pain shot through her right thigh. She had just missed a deadly curse. The Death Eaters had not been happy to see them. Though they were taken by surprise they did not put up a less deadly show. Lord Voldemort was fighting everyone who came in his way, trying to get to Harry who was currently blocking a curse from some Death Eater. I scanned the room, looking for anyone in need of help. I spotted Ginny trying to shake off Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. I tried to revive my energy as I sped off to help Ginny. "Sectusempra!" I yelled, thinking of the first spell that came to my mind. Bellatrix fell to the ground with an unceremonious thud, while Narcissa turned to me lividly. "Crucio!" screeched. I felt pain shoot through my insides as everything around me dissolved for a second. Ginny had punched Narcissa the muggle way, thus resulting her wand to break with a 'crack'. I smiled at Ginny thankfully as I moved on to the next Death Eater.

My mind was growing slightly foggy. I was tired, Damnit I was so tired. This must be the result of Narcissa's curse, I thought with irritation. I had to fight, I had to be there, I thought with newfound determination. I wiped my wand-hand on my robes and after picking up my wand, I got ready to fight again.

"HERMIONE" Ron shouted from the other corner of the room. I fixed my eyes on him. He gave me the signal. I nodded shortly. Now was the time.

Harry was slowly snaking his way towards Voldemort. I was moving to get behind Voldemort. When Harry got in the position, he gave me the thumbs-up. I nodded fervently. Saying a small prayer, I wished Harry would be safe. Harry pointed his wand towards Voldemort, thus getting his attention. Voldemort gave an evil cackle. "Avada Kedevra!" he said softly. This was my cue, "Expelliarmus!" I screamed. Instead of Voldemort's wand falling, he gripped it more firmly. My eyes widened as I felt the gut-wrenching pain again. Voldemort gave a smirk, "You don't think that you can defeat me do you? Mudblood!" I shook my head to clear the fogginess.

He turned his attention back at Harry, who was wand-lessly staring at Voldemort. I groaned as I jumped and moved in front of Harry, just as Voldemort shouted "CRUCIO!" My insides melted, as I dropped to my knees. I couldn't hear what was going on. Everything was black. My head was bursting. Yet my only thought was to know if Harry was all right. The curse still wasn't lifted from me. I was writhing in pain. Suddenly a loud yell broke through my thoughts. I opened my eyes, without realizing that I had closed them. Voldemort was on the floor. We had won.

But the pain didn't leave me. I still felt it. Harry's face came into my view. The Death-Eaters were still fighting. Realization suddenly hit me. Voldemort had used the lasting Cruciatous curse. His wand was still pointed at me. I moaned, as everything went black again. Someone was shaking me. I saw Harry through half- open eyes. I managed a small smile as I opened my dry mouth, "Take care Harry. I love you. Always take care." This came out as a barely audible rasp. But I was sure Harry had heard me. And i knew the 'love' I mentioned, Harry thought of it as sisterly love. He was shouting something to the others, tears were in his eyes. His face was contorted painfully. I felt another spasm hit my whole body. I moaned again. I didn't want to see him sad. I would die a hundred times for him. Harry was now trying to re-assure me. But I knew. Everyone had crowded around us. I smiled for the last time. _Now for the greatest adventure of all._ I closed my eyes, as everything disappeared around me and the noises reduced. I had Harry's arms around me, holding me firmly. I didn't need anything else. I didn't get to kiss him this time, but it was all right. I felt again something as I was dying. Something that was familiar. I felt my heartbeat for the last time. I felt my painful heart, my _heartache._

**A/N: How did you like it? Please R n R! Sorry for the sad ending. I am not fond of them myself. But my mood was not letting me write something else**.**Do review!!**


End file.
